Well -- ever since we met

I’ve worn my heart upon my sleeve.

You know how much I love you

And you know I’d never leave.

But ‘though I think you’re perfect

In most ev’ry other way . . .

There’s just one thing I’d change

And that’s the music that you play!

You’ve got that thing for country.

Yes, it seems you’ve lost your mind

To guys with names like “Chet,” and “Garth,”

And others less refined.

Well, I think their songs are stupid!

And the words don’t even rhyme!

And I cannot understand what makes you

Play them all the time!

    I just can’t stand their Western drawls --

    The twang of their guitars!

    You’d never catch me dancin’

    In a line at country bars!

    I don’t know how you stand it,

    But I know one thing that’s true . . .

    I ain’t got no love for country,

    But I’ll give my love to you!

Well -- each song’s got some kind of

Catchy phrase or trite cliché.

Like, “Whiskey Underneath The Bridge,”

Or, “Loser For A Day.”

And it’s only kinda clever, what?

The first fifty times or so?!?

But it just keeps playing non-stop

On your FM radio!

Please!  Play some heavy metal!

Or some old-time rock-’n’-roll!

A jazz riff played with passion

Or some R-and-B with soul!

Or even play some showtunes!

Even Barbra’s not as lame

As those blasted country singers

With their songs of loss and shame!

    ( Chorus 2x )

This song was “commissioned” in 1995 by one of my old college roommates.  He -- a New Yorker who absolutely hated country music -- was dating a mid-western girl who loved country music!  Out of affection for her, he wanted to write her a song.  Problem was -- he didn’t have the musical skills to pull that off.  So he asked me if I would write a song for him -- for her -- over Winter Break.

So I did!

Now, this song was originally titled, “I Don’t Give A Damn For Country.”  (I thought the extra vehemence was fitting, given my roommate.)  The only thing in the lyric that was different was the end of the chorus . . .

    I don’t know how you stand it,

    But I know one thing that’s true . . .

    ‘Though I don’t give a damn for country,

    Still I’ll give my love to you!

However, when I would play this song for other people, I decided to “soften” the lyric a little bit!  (And I like it -- now the title is a solecism, which does seem appropriate.)  The only other change?  “Clay” became “Chet” in the lyric as soon as “Aiken” sprung to mind faster than “Walker.”

Inside jokes?

Well -- the summer before this song was written, we teased my roommate rather unmercifully about a note he wrote in which he misspelled the word “wuss” (woos).  So I called back upon this gaff when I named the radio station.  (By the way -- in re: the telephone number?  Yes -- “9877” spells out “WUSS” -- but “462” also spells out “I’m a . . .”)

“Country bars” is in there because this was 1995, and line dancing was still big.  (Remember “Achy Breaky Heart?)

And Barbra’s in there because if there was one style of music that my roommate hated almost as much as his girlfriend’s country music?

It was probably my Broadway showtunes . . .